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Archive for 2005

Words are broken

Words are broken. My dog warns me: Arooo Arooo Arooo to the sound of the freeway always louder in the heat, and to the deer that walk on dry grass on the hill behind our house: Arooo Arooo Arooo. And the cool air comes, blown in from a distant ocean-sea, drowning her final calls: Arooo [...]

Random Bag of Dead Dogs

About a year ago, when I took Katrina to be put to sleep, I learned that you can save 20 bucks if you choose the “Random Bag of Dead Dogs” option. See, when you go up to the front desk of your vet’s office, the receptionist, who knows you and knows why you are there [...]

Tools Belts

Okay, I’m drunk and I admit it. Okay, not actually drunk, but buzzed. And a good buzzed, not a hostile one. Anyway, I want to be able to wear a really cool tool belt with all these cool useful tools on it, but I don’t want to look like those geeks that walk around with [...]

Fresh Toasted

Apparently, I don’t get out enough anymore, because I was unaware of Subway’s new taste sensation (that former fat guy must not be drawing them in like he used to): Fresh Toasted. And what the hell is “Fresh Toasted”? Is that in contrast to “Previously Toasted” or “Toasted in a Central Toasting Factory and Shipped [...]

Terri Schiavo

You know, I think if I were living in Florida, I’d go down to the local Staples, buy myself a white poster board and a giant magic market and make myself a big sign. I’d then haul my ass over to the hospice where the body of Terri Schaivo is currently parked. I’d position myself [...]